Mark 10:2-16Weall know that sitcoms families are not real families, but for some reason, we like to think this is what family shouldbe like. We know from our own experiencesthat real families do not end the day with everyone smiling, sisters andbrothers holding each other in loving embraces or offering high-fives, and celebrationand joy at bedtime is a dream. No, weknow that sometimes in REAL families, there are many moments of elation and celebration,but these joyful times are always co-mingled with periods of differing ideas, conflict,anger, and hurt feelings.
Somefolks like to use the term “church family” to describe their experience of the faithcommunity to which they belong. Like thesitcoms of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, we use this term with preconceived notionsthat church should be more like the families found on the Brady Bunch, Leave itto Beaver, or The Cosby Show. Sometimeswe layer on unrealistic expectations of church that just are not reality in this life. Doyou know folks who expect the church to be perfect and we should all “get along”all the time? Do you know folks that expectthe clergy person to be the perfect, smiling, happy all the time, able to saythe right words at the right times, and without fault or mistake? Do you know folks who expect the governingboard to make all the right decisions? Of course, those decisions are always the ones that happen to benefit ourown personal project. Do you know folkswho expect their pew seat to always be vacant? Do you know folks who expect all the right songs to be played and sung perfectly? Do you know folks who expect the bulletin tobe without error every week? Do you knowfolks who as the final hymn is played, and the credits start to roll, stand upand high five each other on the way out the door. If you do, you may want to inform them that achurch family is not what they are seeking, they are looking for a sitcom.
The Bodyof Christ, the church is about being together, unified, committed, even whenthings become messy, even when the conflict arises, even when we fail to liveup to each other’s expectations. We needto realize that we are broken folk who are in need of grace. Have you ever noticed in the story of Thomasthat for him to believe, he had to see the wounds of cross in the risen Body ofChrist. We, the Body of Christ are wounded,broken, scarred, and yet we are raised in Christ. Church is like REAL family with all its joysand celebrations, and co-mingled with all its disappointments and failures.
Familycan describe many different scenarios of being these days. The average family unit may be two people whocome together in body and mind “for their mutual joy; for the help and comfortgiven one another in prosperity and adversity.” The preamble to the Marriage Rite in the Church states that purpose ofthis union of people is mutual joy, help, and comfort. That certainly sounds like church. That sounds like God’s intention for creationis that we should gather in community for joy, help, and comfort. WhatGod brings together, let no one separate and yet, we sometimes choose to breakthe bonds of affection.
Hereis an example of disunity commonly found in American churches today. Some may experience conflict or disagreement,and rather than doing the hard work of reconciliation, they look at their sistersand brothers in Christ and say, “I no longer like this or that.” They may say, “I disagree with so and so,” or“these folks are headed in the wrong direction,” or “I don’t like the music,”and with those words, frivolously they cast away their commitment to each other. Some may say, “I’m going to old St.Swithin’s, where everything will be better.” The grass is always greener over there, “see ya.” When we consider the comparison of “churchfamily” to “real family,” you can see how this is related. This frivolous casting away of relationships wasa common reason for marital divorce depicted in first century Palestine.
Inthe gospel reading today, Jesus speaks directly about divorce. Many preachers today will avoid this topic,but the reality is that some of us have had to deal with the human tragedy ofdivorce. Many of us have seen the threadsof mutual joy, help, and comfort unraveling before our very eyes. So, if we do not address Jesus’ teachingabout divorce, and if we merely avoid it, we are going to miss what Jesus wasreally saying about the reality of human frailty and what God’s intent is for humaninteractions.
Thesetting of the question asked of Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce hiswife?" This scene is anotherexample of Jesus being drawn into a conflict with the Pharisees. He accepts this challenge in the shadows of Johnthe Baptist who lost his head because he spoke out against the divorce ofHerodius, who would later marry King Herod. We need to be aware that it was not unusual in first century Palestinianand Greco Roman culture, for folks to casually end one relationship, so that theymight enter into another. Some scholarsclaim that Jesus was speaking against this practice, because its flippantnature thwarts what God intends. God broughtfolks together to be in relationship with each other and with God. This is the core of the Church’s mission “tobring all people to unity with God and each other in Christ.” Unity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is at theheart of our Trinitarian faith.
Whatwe have to keep in mind here is that Jesus was not telling the abused motherwith abused children to stay in an abusive marriage and avoid divorce at allcosts. Jesus was not telling the husbandor wife who was the victim of their partner’s unfaithfulness, and when all elsefailed to bring about reconciliation, to avoid divorce at all costs. Jesus was pointing out that it was againstGod’s intent for a person to divorce their spouse, so they could marry someoneelse. It was against God’s purpose to throwaway our relationships and not do the hard work to reconcile them. The issue at hand is God’s intent for the unionof folks who are brought together for love, joy, mutual support, and unity in permanenceas a sign of God’s love.
Inour culture and throughout human history we have entered committed unions (marriage,church, treaties, contracts, you name it) and we have done so without regard towhat God expects of these human interactions; reconciliation and unity. Divisions are prevalent in our culture. All we have to do is watch the political ranklinggoing on in the media. All you have todo is look at social media posts offriends, and because of politics, you will see insults being hurled atgeneralized categories of people, and people we might call friends, may beinsulting us not knowing we are affiliated with the category beingcharacterized. We need to be reminded thatour relationships one to another are paramount. We need to be reminded that our relationships should not be “enteredinto unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordancewith the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”
Evenso, we are broken folk; our scars remain. There are times when human relations fail and even after all that can bedone is done to bring about reconciliation, folks must make difficult choicesand relationships may have to enter a period of separation. Of course, disunity should never be our defaultaction, it should never be the first course of action. We should never merely cast away a commitmentfor another commitment, but the reality is, human frailty prevails. Families struggle, loved ones fail us, conflicthappens, and promises are broken. Human relationshipsare fragile and messy and honestly, sometimes they require great work andcommitment. Jesus is the champion ofreconciliation and when the bottom falls out in our lives, when reconciliation onour part is not possible, there is no condemnation from God rather, there is aninvitation to peace.
“Peoplewere bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and thedisciples spoke sternly to them.” It is interesting that Jesus addresses thePharisee’s divorce question and then right after, he welcomes the littlechildren to come near him. Jesus alwaysseems to welcome us his children, especially in light of human tragedy, when wehave seen joy, comfort, and mutual support fade from view, when the promises wemake one to another are no more. i reada paraphrase of Jesus' words the other day, and I find them comforting, “Andlet people come when those promises lie in shambles, when neglect or abuse haverendered vows meaningless.”1. Jesus invites us when to come when things fallapart, "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is tosuch as these that the kingdom of God belongs.”
Jesusis the reconciler whose love restores unity in the midst of brokenness. Yes, there are times when reconciliation willnot happen in our lifetime, but we can still live in the hope that in God’stime, all will be restored. Humantragedy: divorce, people who leave church, political divisions, and all of life’s brokenpromises are all a part of the human condition. There are times when we must for the sake of peace, for the sake of joy,for the sake of love, choose the difficult road and accept that our circumstancesmust change. There are times when,because we are not yet perfect, we must face our own human brokenness anddespite all that, we can still live in hope that God will restore and bringunity in God’s time.
Thekey to the scripture today seems to be that Jesus is making clear that God’s intentis for human unity to be a reality. The unionof two people is the basic expression of that possibility and yet, we may be tooquick to put up fences, to close the curtains, to put up walls, and to createdivisions. In the midst of human frailty,we must not give up on hope. We must notcast away relationships frivolously. We muststrive for unity now. We must worktoward reconciliation NOW. The realityof church life, married life, and all of life, is there is no Brady Bunch, Leaveit to Beaver, Cosby show magic formula. Honestly,peace and unity is hard work, it is messy work, it is our reality, and it is certainlythe reality of the family we all know as the Body of Christ.
1 Lundblad, Barbara K. "Let Them Come To Me." ChristianCentury 108.25 (1991): 804-318. ATLASerials, Religion Collection. Web. 2 Oct.2012.
2http://www.cnbc.com/id/46797203/As_Two_Income_Family_Model_Matures_Divorce_Rate_Falls
3 Collier, Gary D. "Rethinking Jesus OnDivorce." Restoration Quarterly 37.2 (1995): 80-96. ATLASerials, ReligionCollection. Web. 4 Oct. 2012.
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